Money!
Corvallis Oak Prairie, Oregon 10.13.22
I don’t think I’ve ever written about money, but since I tend to have thoughts about just about everything, I figured I’d give it a try. I think from my earliest times as a child I knew a thing or two about money. Partly, I knew that it was something that could help you get things you wanted to get. My parents gave me an allowance from a young age and eventually, my allowance was tied to things like mowing the lawn. It’s kind of humorous that now I spend hours during my week trying to figure out how to get rid of lawns, but that’s another story that, if you’re a regular reader, you know all about!
Eventually, I started making money of my own. My Dad, Richard Kaufman, 86 now, and living in Jenkintown, PA with my Mom (81), had a small computer business in the 70s. One of the clients he had was a group of doctors (pediatricians that I went to see as a kid, actually) and they needed help with their computer billing. So, every month my Dad would come home with computer-generated bills which we’d have to rip apart (they were on computer-fed paper which was perforated), and then we’d take them and stuff them into envelopes. We’d get $3/box and also free pizza and soda. This effort needed to be done once a month and he brought my brother and sister into the mix, too. This went on for years. It was dull work, but we did it for the money and I’m sure it helped my Dad out, too. Now that I think back on it, I realize at the time I really was only doing it for the money. But I realize that it was a huge help to my Dad who would have had to pay someone real wages to do this work if we hadn’t done it!
This work led to me selling things I would make – candles – door to door. I also tried selling seeds for Burpee door-to-door, but that didn’t last long. Eventually, I had my first job as a newspaper delivery boy in Junior High. I remember my first morning of waking up at 4:30 am to find a stack of papers on our doorstep and then I went around our suburban Lawrence neighborhood by foot to deliver the papers. I remember throwing up that first morning. I’m not sure why. Then, there was going around from door to door to collect payment for the paper. I think I did that weekly – and that led to some fun tips over the years and also a chance to see into the houses that were around me in my neighborhood. I really could have used a better calculator during those times to make sense of what I was taking in, though doing it the way I did probably helped my math skills.
After that job, I went on to work at Arthur Treacher Fish & Chips. That experience could probably be written up in a small book. My main work was to drop frozen triangles of fish and rounder frozen chicken fillets into a large vat of boiling oil – without getting my hands burned. I also lived nearby and somehow ended up being the one to close up at night. That job led to a sweet gig at Sam Goody’s where I was the guitar/amp/instrument/effects pedals salesperson. This was probably one of the best jobs I’ve ever held. I spent my time tuning decent instruments and learning what the different effects pedals did. Had I played my cards right I’ve always thought I could have been a part of a band that went somewhere – or been a musician who would tour, but of course, life had other ideas for me in mind. I watch people like Jackson Brown or Bruce Springsteen play and I am just 10 years younger than them. I know if I’d focused I probably could at least be backing them up if not leading a band of my own 🙂 But instead…
I went on to have jobs like – working on a kibbutz in the Negev Desert in Israel with milking cows (feeding them, milking them, driving a tractor, etc.)
Working in NYC at a place called Lox, Stock, and Bagels during my freshman year at NYU. I’ve actually worked at 3 different bagel places, but this one was for the longest time. Another short book there – this place was across from Madison Square Garden where I ended up seeing many a Grateful Dead show and a few hockey games!
I’ve had a job for 6 months as a rodman in a surveying crew. Another 6 months after that – this was 1986 – as a data miner (a bit before computers came into fashion – so we were on the phones) at Peterson’s Guides for Graduate Schools. Then there have been years of temping in NYC for the investment banking and perfume worlds. Now that I think of it, I did do a short piece about some of these positions and my thoughts on work. I wonder if other writers have that happen where they find themselves repeating their writing after a while.
Anyway, I love this topic and I’ll probably come back to it again as I’m trying to figure out money now at 61, too. I have enough at the moment, but I also feel limited to moving about the gameboard as I’d like to. I also know that having more money is an attractor to the opposite sex and I am in “wanting to date” mode. So, we’ll see if I take the dive into more money-making efforts. We’ll see!
Squash Blossom, Fall in Portland, Oregon 2022
