Friends Nextdoor

How to build a group of friends using Nextdoor and other online tools Stars

Problem: It’s nice (and helps you live longer) to have a group of local friends – the closer in proximity, the better. Groups of friends tend to break apart over time – spreading to the wind – some people move away; relationships fray; etc.

Problem #2. It’s often difficult to create a new group of friends when one moves to a new place. It can often take people 2-3 years in a new place to “land”.

Solution: Using Nextdoor.com and other online tools such as Constant Contact (email service provider + survey capability) and Facebook (for group functions) it’s possible to quickly build a list of people who live close by who share your interests. This means that when one relocates, it is potentially possible to create a new group of friends, quickly.

Steps I have taken to try this out.

  1. Sign up for Nextdoor.com
  2. Create an email list for potential new friends – ie, a sign-up form that people can use to sign up for your friend’s list (or, just a simple group in your email client like Outlook or Gmail). There can be more than one list – ie, I like to play chess; I like to play music; I like to effect change to make the neighborhood more livable. A person can join one or more lists.
  3. Instigate conversations on Nextdoor around the above topics or ones of your choosing. **
  4. Via private messaging – ask people who seem interesting to you to either join your list (provide sign up link) or tell them what you’re up to and ask for their email address.
  5. Once you have a group – you can start inviting the people in that group to events or meet for coffee and see how things go. This could also be a time to start a Facebook group so that the members of the group can speak to one another and possibly instigate activities themselves – the cool thing here is that you’re acting as matchmaker – and all of the connections are local!
  6. Repeat the above until your social life is full of interesting people who live close by and may enrich your life.
  7. Show others what you’ve done (we learn by teaching).

I’m always open to feedback. Please feel free to help me improve this concept in the comments section below or write me @ albert@albertideation.com.

As of 7.24.19 I have been doing this for about 8 months and I’m learning as I go. I have a list of 60 people in my Portland, Oregon neighborhood who have been invited to various events at my house (mostly house concerts and an orphans’ Thanksgiving) and the experiment continues.

**Another way to find people who share interests is by creating a survey. That way you can find people who share your interests and ask for their contact information all in one effort. And, people love to provide feedback 🙂

Here’s some of my past writing about Nextdoor.com

The world might feel like it’s unraveling… hold yourself, friends and family tight

Water rushing by a lighthouseIn doing some interesting reading and then noting what I’m seeing in our world – It feels that our world is unraveling a bit. There are a multitude of things going on at the same time, some of them tragic, some of them unseen in the past and thus a little hard to wrap our heads around. The natural world also seems to be going through changes – for anyone who is paying any attention at all to various scientific papers to recent conferences on the climate and just plain looking out your window (if it’s not frozen shut as the East Coast of USA experienced a bunch this year) – the climate is changing. Then, there’s the political/media circus of giving the Tea Party movement a lot of time and attention = cacophony in the political and social sphere.

All that said, and more. So, what to do when overloaded with stimuli – there are many reactions that people have. Some clam up, hide. Some pretend that nothing different is going on. Then there are some who are speaking about the change – and many who have been speaking about it for a while – Bill McKibbon comes to mind. But other authors, like James Kunstler, Richard Heinberg – these folks are tracking the change and writing about it.

But what I might suggest is for us not to forget ourselves.  Our strengths. What we each bring to the world – and not let the strong winds of change push us around too much, make us lost. That would be unfair. It’s unfair to you because this is your life, and it should be as sweet, powerful and wonderful as you wish it to be. And, it’s not fair to the rest of us and future generations – for a large group of us to sleepwalk through this next period of time – the next chapter in our lives.

So, learn to dance with the change – learn to see the signs of something changing and instead of “holy shit!” your mantra could be “how interesting?” or “hmm, how will I dance with this in my life?”

This is also a good time to remember to take the best care of yourself that you can – physically and emotionally. Take your vitamins, get plenty of sleep, move that body, and make sure to stay connected to people. Your friends. Your Neighbors. Your Family. and new friends. If I’ve learned one thing at Burning Man lo these past 10 years, it’s that friends and close connection is key in life. Also, the ability to make new friends quickly is an art and can be learned. Start by introducing yourself.

Albert Kaufman
3/29/10
Portland, Oregon

Related: 8.31.18 – A More Or Less Definitive Guide To Showing Up For Friends

And, Ben Bochner’s song – Hold on Strong!

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