Facebook Friend Culling

October 22, 2020 by
https://www.andysinger.com/

Cartoon by the wonderful Andy Singer!

Tending Your Lists

After watching The Social Dilemma I became overwhelmed with a desire to both spend less time on FB and also to lessen the # of friends I have on there. I explained this in my 10.11.2020 The Eleven newsletter thusly:

“Years ago I followed the advice of a fellow marketer regarding social media and accepted the friendships of thousands of people I didn’t know. The idea was that everyone would become an audience for my marketing business (part of which was teaching classes on how to use social media). Over the years my work has shifted away from social media, and after watching the new documentary The Social Dilemma, it occurred to me that it is a great time to reconsider the # of “friends” I have = 4,470.
I recommend doing this next step
A couple of days ago on FB I clicked on “friends”. From that viewpoint, one can see all of the people one is connected to. Then, I started culling. I’m at 2,330. It’s interesting. Beyond saying goodbye to a lot of people I barely know (if at all), I’m also coming across people who I haven’t thought of in a while and am reaching out to say hi and reconnect. I’ve always found FB useful as a networking/staying-in-touch tool.
I thought I’d share this since I’m finding the process interesting. If I’ve culled you and you want back in just send me a friend request :)”
—-

10.22.2020: 741 FB friends.  Some observations and upsides

  1. My FB newsfeed is entirely different now. It’s filled with postings from people I know. It’s also moving a lot more slowly. I still use FB Purity which allows one to customize your FB experience – for instance, I see things in the order they’re posted. Install this app and you will be a happier FB user = no advertising.
  2. Having so many FB friends played into some of my weaknesses. I kept a lot of people on there thinking – ah, potential date when that was really not the case 🙂  Or, staying friends with certain celebrities – what actual good was that doing me?  I detached from a number of people who have close to 5K friends (actually, Michael Lerner who had 5,000 🙂  It’s not that I don’t love these people anymore, I just won’t see them in my newsfeed 🙂  This is true for both the people who I never met and those who I did years and years ago – old HS connections who I have no reason to stay in touch with; people who I burned with or shared a night with on the playa in 2003… All great memories and I still get to keep those, and I know that I can always find people if I want to 🙂
  3. There is definitely an addictive quality to FB like they talk about in the Social Dilemma, and as I unfriended people I could feel the pressure to not do this. FB actually makes it difficult to unfriend people. There’s a way they make the actual move to unfriend someone when you’re looking at your friends from the “friends” page difficult. The pull-down menu jiggles and is hard to actually click on!  They are so clever.  They also stopped me two times when I hit the “700 unfriendings in one day” limit. I got a message that my account had been blocked and I’d have to run through a series of steps to reconnect. It was super eerie, but I suppose not a bad thing, either.
  4. I also partly went through this effort to get to the other side and see what life is like for most people. I often hear from someone – you probably saw my recent important update on FB.  I never did. Never. So, perhaps now I’ll be a little more in touch with the people I’m closer with. We’ll see 🙂  I partly want to really keep moving away from FB and towards more IRL experiences – even with Covid keeping us apart.
  5. FB is very useful for introducing people to one another. With a smaller group of friends, I’ll probably be able to see people I’m closer to stand out more and be able to help them more. I just noticed when I posted this blog post to FB that the people who popped up to respond were a closer set of friends than usual – and I was able to see the power of the people I’ve kept around.
  6. Oooh, this means that I’ll see a lot fewer people whose birthday is today 🙂  I love wishing people happy birthday and having an email that goes to those on my list on their birthday which people love. Now, way fewer people to wade through. Love this.
  7. Yeah, I think having my group of friends on FB be the ones I’m closer with is going to be a good thing. Whew, a little relief there that this wasn’t a huge mistake 🙂
  8. 10.23.2020: I’m noticing a few things I hadn’t noticed before—way fewer notifications. Way fewer friends online to chat to. That part has gone from 3-500 people to 77 right now 11:30 am.
  9. 10.27.2020 – I still post to FB, but I notice that the responses are from people I’m closer to – this has changed the quality of my responses.  Also, I notice my newsfeed has so much less on it, it’s a lot more attractive to check 🙂
  10. 1.30.2021 – I’m segmenting my lists – I’ve written about making FB Friends lists in the past – it’s still a useful thing. Having a smaller list to look through brings me face-to-face with a lot richer collection (to me) of faces.  Reminding me who to reach out to and causing more connection through that. 
  11. 1.2.23 – I’m finding I’m also taking time to send happy New Year’s greetings to those with whom I feel drawn to do that with. That’s a sweet side effect – bringing me closer to those who I do want to stay connected with – and perhaps deepening our connection. 
  12. 1.2.23 – I’m probably repeating myself – but this year I’m noticing quite a few of my friends have passed away. People I really loved a lot. This gives me a moment to send them a lovely NYE note and well wishes. I like doing that. It’s been quite a day.
  13. 10.19.23 – I’ve heard from close friends and relatives over the years “Well, you must have seen my important post about X?” For years, no, there was no way for me to see their important posts. So, recently, I’ve unfollowed just about every one of my FB friends. This took me a while to do, but has led to a feed that is now full of the people’s posts who I’m closest to. It’s probably more of what Facebook intends for people to experience. Since I also use Facebook Purity (highly recommended), I don’t see advertising, and also see the most recent posts first (one of the FB Purity settings that you can set). So, I’m having a much better Facebook experience after all of this cutting and pruning! Feel free to add any thoughts in the comments section below.

I’m sure I’ll add more insights to this article as I have them. I feel like I’ve just landed in a new place and I’m excited to see how it’s different. So far it feels calmer.

Downsides to doing this:

  1. A thought I’ve had over the years is that when I’m older (70+) I’ll probably want to spend more time reconnecting with people who titillated me once upon a time. I just said goodbye to lots of people, so I won’t have the easily accessible group that I had 2 weeks ago to choose from.
  2. My FB live concerts will not reach as many people and have the chance to spread. I’ve noticed as I’ve played some recent FB live shows that I haven’t had the bigger audience I’ve become accustomed to. Oh well 🙂
  3. My business offerings might not have as wide a reach via the newsfeed as they once did. Oh well 🙂  Luckily, I’ve been building my email list like gangbusters over the years 🙂

Thanks for listening. I’d love to know your thoughts. Please leave them in the comments area below.

Happy Facebooking. Happy living. Albert

PS – Next up, same thing for LinkedIn 🙂 – 1.30.2021 – I’ve decided not to do this on LinkedIn, especially now that they’ve put together Lunchclub.

PPS – 10.23.2020 – Ooooh, under settings look what I found! More places to limit the FB monster’s reach into my life 🙂 

12.16.2020 – I was in a video discussion related to this topic with Gary Ware and Apryl Schlueter.

1.2.23 – Happy New Year – I find myself doing another culling today. It really feels very freeing. There are tons of people who aren’t using FB very much. Removing them from my friend’s list feels like a little shedding that is clearing. I recommend doing this once a  year at least. 

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My Nextdoor.com posts about Leaf Blowers – Feel free to borrow and re-post

December 19, 2019 by

Nextdoor.com posts about leaf blowers by Albert Kaufman, Portland, Oregon

Please re-post these as is, credit or not. Thank you – let’s end the noise and air pollution of leaf blowers together.

  1. Pets and Leaf Blowers don’t mix: Note from a veterinarian

    “In support of local efforts to ban gas leaf blowers and improve the quality of life in Sonoma and drastically reduce unnecessary harmful particulate matter in the air we breathe, I wanted to contribute a few statements and my opinion from the vantage point of a working small animal Veterinarian in Sonoma.It is very well known that particulate matter such as dust, dirt, and debris from the environment can pose a tremendous health challenge for dog, cats, and virtually all other mammals. While the normal changes in seasons, weather, rainfall, and pollen counts can all affect animals, extra particulate matter such as the debris aerosolized by leaf blowers pose a sharply increased risk for a variety of health problems for our domestic species. Among those most notably seen by me directly are:

    1. Significant flare up of cough, wheezing, and “respiratory” issues that encompass both infectious and inflammatory types of diseases.

    2. Eye problems of unknown origin–either in one or both eyes: owners report a clear discharge from the eyes or a “pink eye” situation with no previous known injury.

    3. Nasal discomfort: rubbing and snorting, as if to remove a “foreign body” that is not there, but rather a minute irritant that was substantial enough to bother the mucous membranes and irritate the pet’s nasal passages.

    4. Skin issues, including itching and scratching. These clinical signs are usually blamed completely on atopy or “allergy.” There is well documented, long standing scientific evidence that the irritation in the skin is secondary to allergens that the pet has inhaled.

    In addition, because pets are so sound sensitive, the use of leaf blowers can startle animals and cause outdoor pets to dart away from yards and potentially scare them into more dangerous situations such as traffic or other precarious situations.

    The blasting “on and off” sounds made with leaf blowers has a definite impact on small animals “fight or flight” response, causing an immediate release of cortisol into the bloodstream. Especially with cats, this taxes the body and leads to a surge in blood glucose almost instantly. In my opinion, this is a good example of the loud noise made by leaf blowers having a negative impact on animals all around our town—it is not an obvious impact, but once you realize what is going on inside their bodies on a cellular level, you realize that maybe the impact is farther reaching than we previously realized.

    The information and examples I have stated above are only a small sample of the deleterious effects that leaf blowers have on the small animals of Sonoma. I hope that my words will help get some conversations started that emphasize the importance of considering the quality of life for our pets in Sonoma as people make an effort to decide the fate of leaf blowers in our community.

    I would be happy to answer any other questions regarding this topic as my time and schedule permit.

    Sincerely,

    Vallard Forsythe, DVM ~ Broadway Veterinary Hospital

    735 Broadway Sonoma, CA 95476

    (707) 938-4546

  2. More and more brave towns are putting a stop to the tyranny of leaf blowers – Thanks for considering!

    Lately I’ve noticed less and less gas-powered leaf blowers being used in our community. Thank you to anyone who has personally made the change or had their landscaping service adjust either to electric blowers or to rakes and brooms. Thank you thank you thank you – the Earth thanks you – your neighbors thank you – the insects thank you. Thank you! https://qz.com/1729584/more-brave-towns-are-putting-a-stop-to-the-tyranny-of-leaf-blowers/ PS – the quietcleanpdx.org group is working on something with the City. I hope to have news about this very soon.

  3. The Devil’s Workshop by Kim Stafford, Oregon Poet Laureate, 2018-2020

    The Devil’s Workshop by Kim Stafford, Oregon Poet Laureate, 2018-2020 To torture your neighbors, some devil said, I give you my multi-tool that hits so many irritants at once: it deafens workers so their ears ring, it kicks up killing dust to sicken children, it spews more poisons to taint the sky in a mere half hour than a truck driving from the Texas plains to Alaska, and all to hustle leaves from yard to bin. Have you seen one such contraption chase a single leaf to pirouette in the blue plume that’s killing us? Have you gritted your teeth and hated the neighbor you recently enjoyed? Have you missed your meditative hour with rake and rain, as you walked your way from summer into fall? My friend, the bar is low. We can do better. —– Learn more about this issue @ https://quietcleanpdx.org

  4. If you’re still not convinced about the danger of leaf-blowers, please watch this video

    https://youtu.be/sRsYRen6nVE  Join our effort to ban these in Portland @ https://quietcleanpdx.org

  6. The Case Against Leaf Blowers by Singer
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New and Good November 2019

November 21, 2019 by

What’s New and Good?Sunset in Newport Oregon

Hello from Lake Albert gone! I’m sitting in our sunny dining room on November 21st and it’s a fine morning. Coffee to my left, laptop to my front and a collection of house plants I’ve gathered over the years. I also like collecting glass orbs and have quite a few strewn around the living and dining room.

But that’s not why I’ve gathered you here. Mostly, it’s just to get in the habit of writing more. Less FB posts and one-off newsletters, and more writing writing 🙂  Yes, in preparation for January and February when I intend to do some longer pieces – namely my autobiography! Yes, it’s 11 chapters long and of course includes info about hitching across the country in 1981, a year living on a kibbutz in Israel and my involvement in Habonim which led up to that; 14 years of attending Burning Man into one chapter – we’ll see how that goes. Some of the chapters could probably be books of their own, but this will be an Albert taster. I’ve actually made a deal with myself that I will not attend Burning Man again until I can hand someone either a copy of the book or a thumbdrive of it or digital download code.  Or, the other thing that opens the gates to the playa would be me bringing a giant art piece I have in mind. But that’s a much bigger lift.  We’ll see which wins – but my current plan is to bring some form of the book forth next. I have the free time for this, and the stories – encouragement welcome!

Last night we hosted a Higher Thought Cannabis Game night here. Get your game today! It’s a really fun way to gather with people and share insights and thinking. All sorts of stuff gets discussed.  I’m constantly surprised at what comes up. You may remember my earlier mention of this game in my Cards blog post of last year. Since that time I’ve become part owner (15%) of Higher Thought and I’m also helping Aaron Trotter out with his empire of decks over at Illustrated Playing Cards. I really do think the decks in my post are possible ways for people to move themselves forward. I think it helps people when groups share knowledge. It almost reminds me of the days of yore when we’d sit around the campfire and tell stories. Perhaps it’s time to go back to that practice so that we can get our societies on better footing in preparation for dealing with climate change and other big challenges headed our way. That’s where my mind went to last night, at least.

So, I’m moving. At the end of the year I’m renting a friend’s house for 2 months (Jan and Feb. 2020!) and then I’m not sure what comes after that.  Very likely more Portland. I’ve had this thought lately of starting a “we’re staying” club. No matter how bad the traffic gets. No matter how many noobs from elsewhere come and move in – we’re staying!  We could have buttons and patches. I think there’s a value when we decide to stick it out and not do the typically American thing of moving when things get challenging. We’ll see how that goes. I’ve been here 18 years and there’s also something to be said for more sunshine 🙂  And warmth.  That’s partly what drew me to the PNW – warmth – so I wouldn’t have to brave the East Coast winters. But today’s very unusual sunshine is reminding me that more of that certainly would be nice.

To perturb my life I’m going to fly back East for Thanksgiving (that is the sweet part) and then drive back to Portland via points non-snow-covered in early December. That’s the perturbing part. I did this drive about 20 years ago and I’m excited to give it another whirl. I hope to visit friends in Chicago, Austin, Santa Fe and possibly California.  I definitely want to visit Summer Lake hot springs, too in Eastern Oregon. We’ll see what the weather and various visits have to say about all of this as I get underway around December 2nd.  If you living the middle of the country somewhere and would like a visit, please get in touch!

K, that feels good. Off she goes.  An Albert update!

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Happy Hour Class 11/26 in Portlandia – Come learn how to tune up your FB Biz Page

November 21, 2012 by Leave a Comment

facebook-fan-pageHello, if you’ve been waiting for an evening Facebook Business Page class – this ones for you!

https://www.facebook.com/events/193941420730924/

Bring your laptop or watch on the big screen!

I’ve been presenting classes on Facebook strategies lately. Come to this class if you’d like a refresher on some of the basics given new Facebook changes. We’ll talk about how to tune up your page, advertising, sponsored stories, promoting posts, and what can be done with your fan/business page to help build your business.

We’ll gather in my living room, I’ll present, and you can watch it unfold on the big screen. You can use a notepad or feel free to bring your laptop. There is free Wi-Fi.

Snacks and drinks for others are always a welcome contribution. I’ll provide tea and perhaps we’ll create a cocktail to go with the class!

Cost: $30
Cash, Check, or Paypal

6 pm-8:30 pm (possibly longer if needed)
Happy Clam: 1823 NE 13th Ave.
Easy access via the 8, 77, Max, and the I-5 Rose Quarter exit

If you have any questions post them here or email albertkaufman@gmail.com

Referrals are always greatly appreciated! Feel free to invite people who you think would benefit from this class!

Albert Kaufman

PS – please sign up for my monthly newsletter if you’re not already subscribed!

https://tinyurl.com/signupforthe-eleven

——————————————–

My recent slideshow presentation

https://albertideation.com/slideshow/

Here’s an outline of what I’ve done in the past. We’ll definitely cover some of these areas and there will be plenty of time for Q&A

https://albertideation.com/facebook-classes/

Here’s an article I’m finding fascinating and gives you the basics of distinguishing your personal and business profiles…

https://www.socialmediaexaminer.com/integrating-your-facebook-page-with-your-facebook-profile/

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Gifting Economy

August 8, 2012 by 1 Comment

A Gifting Economy

Freecycle Portland
I was having a discussion with folks in the Portland Burning Man community yesterday, and here’s something I penned about gifting:

“Jason, I would say it’s not an exact science, and rather perhaps more of an
art form this giving and receiving.  I’ve been working on something
recently that’s in a similar vein, Farm My Yard (https://farmmyyard.org ) and it’s been an interesting trip.  I thought it would be an a + b = c kind
of experience, but instead, it’s full of thousands of variables and every situation is different.

same with giving and receiving.  it’s not that cut and dry.  each of us is
in a very different place in life – may be the same age, but diff class
background.  may have the same skin color, but different gender.  may have
different life experiences – having had a lot, easy access to stuff; or
none at all.

that said, I take each situation as well as I can in the moment and use my
judgment, wisdom, and also make plenty of misjudges and mistakes along the
way.

thank God there has been Burning Man because that has been an incredible
crucible for me to try this type of exchanging, gifting, asking/receiving,
activity out for the last 12 years.

one year I came back and started FreecylePortland – and I don’t mean that
as a show-offy comment, just that I think about this concept A LOT.  and
try to live it, and share it, and yeah

hope everyone’s having fun preparing this year….

Then, later, I added this in. Feel free to play in the comments section!

I’d love to hear you take a few minutes and spell out what a gifting
economy is.  your words, a few paragraphs, go.

the winner is all of us.

Image by Larz

Ready for Burning Man 2015 – Supposedly with a 747 Art Car!

I’ve gifted you with some of my understanding of the gifting economy 🙂  what’s yours? 

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My birthday is May 11th – garden celebration on May 14th, too!

April 27, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Turning 50! birthdayMy 50th birthday is on May 11th! I am organizing some times and places to celebrate – join me in person in Portlandia if you can!

Wednesday, May 11th – Albert turns 50! No big plans for the day yet, but in the evening… Ecstatic dance at the Village Ballroom’s Mindful Meltdown Dance at Dekum and 7th NE at 6:30-8:30pm ($8-$12 I believe) – DJ Chris Browne will be spinning the tunes and I’m doing the “intention” – living a bigger, bolder life! Also, I’ve invited those who are also turning 50 this year to come and join in the fun – so if that’s you, please get in touch!

Afterwards, join us for dinner at Queen of Sheba Ethiopian Restaurant @ 2413 NE Martin Luther King Blvd. (note restaurant change).  We’ll gather from 8:30-10pm. Also, you can just come and join us and not eat, that’s fine, too. Yay!

Then, on Saturday, May 14th, come to the new Birthday Garden, 3rd and Hancock NE. From 9am to 4pm we’ll use shovels and other implements of farming to build up some garden beds, shovel compost and turn a big lot into a community garden. I could use some help organizing the day – need someone to fetch a bbq from SE and perhaps others to help create a rain protection system (big tent? Tarp?) in case it rains. From 4-6pm we’ve reserved the Common Grounds Wellness Center on 33rd and Alberta, NE, so 40+ lucky people will get to soak together which should be a blast. I’m still working out the details of food and drink and live music for the day, but things are coming together.

7pm, Saturday, May 14th, healthy potluck dinner and party at The Happy Clam – 1823 NE 13th Ave.

Albert Kaufman
1823 NE 13th Ave.
Portland, OR 97212
albertkaufman@gmail.com

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

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