Living Together Guidelines

Willow Cottage Basic Guidelines

by Andrine de la Rocha, Massage Therapist

Welcome to Willow Cottage! We’re happy that you’ll be joining us for a time. In order to make your stay more wonderful for everyone, please be mindful of these basic guidelines, and feel free to ask questions if you’re unsure about how they apply to you – they do apply to you, regardless of your status as resident, guest or family member. These are not ALL the rules, but basic rules of thumb which will help you to know how we roll. We request that you read this document and agree to the basic rules if you choose to stay. If you are uncomfortable with or don’t agree with the guidelines in this document, please tell us so we can negotiate terms that work for everyone.

We value friendship: Join In!

  • come to meals (even if you didn’t cook)
  • join us for movies in the living room
  • play fun games with us
  • offer to help us with yard work, cooking, cleaning
  • join us on walks, bike rides, yoga, running
  • tell us about yourself and/or ask us about ourselves
  • respectfully discuss politics and religion

We value contribution & reciprocity: Chip In!

  • clean up after yourself
  • clean up after someone else
  • wash dishes, or put them in the dishwasher
  • unload the dishwasher and dish rack
  • wipe off the counter, table, cutting board, stovetop
  • sweep the floor, wash a sink, scrub a tub or toilet
  • offer to cook a meal
  • buy groceries if you can
  • if you use something up, replace it, tell someone, or at least write it on the grocery list
  • help clean up after meals

We value order and beauty: Keep Things Tidy!

  • keep your personal belongings in your personal space, not the public spaces
  • if you feel compelled to move something, please put it back where you found it
  • if you want to borrow something, ask before using it and return it in good condition
  • if you break something, fix it or tell someone who can get it fixed
  • offer to help fix it, or help pay to have it fixed or replaced
  • consider taking off your shoes when entering the house to preserve our beautiful refinished floors; there are shoe racks in the hallway and many slippers available

We value safety and security: Be Aware and Secure!

  • lock the door when you go out and at night when going to bed
  • lock the garage if you use it to keep bicycles secure
  • introduce yourself to people so we know who belongs in the house

We value health: Respect Others’ Needs!

  • use only unscented products and avoid toxic cleaners & other allergens that trigger illness
  • don’t smoke cigarettes, cigars, pipes or anything else on the property
  • don’t bring animals into the house without explicit permission
  • please keep pork and shellfish out of the house
  • if you are cooking, ask about dietary restrictions (and ask for help if needed)
  • keep all illegal substances off of our property

Our House is a Resonant Musical Instrument: Sound Carries Unusually Well:

  • keep noise to a minimum between 10pm and 9am
  • please be gentle when closing doors; keeping your hand on the doorknob will help keep doors from slamming
  • walk quietly on the stairs, and anywhere on the 3rd floor

We value the Earth: Conserve!

  • Reuse, Recycle & Compost
  • avoid packaging when making purchases
  • bring your own shopping bags and containers to the store
  • sort your trash before filling our tiny garbage can
  • ask if you’re not sure about how to dispose of something
  • take large amounts of recycling directly to the outdoor can
  • turn off lights & fans when you leave a room
  • take shorter showers, turn off taps to conserve water
  • close windows in cold weather

We value communication: Talk to Us!

  • if you don’t know where something goes, ask!
  • if you don’t know how to use an appliance, ask!
  • if you would like to have visitors, let us know when, for how long & introduce us
  • for guests staying more than 1 or 2 nights, please ask permission
  • please be responsible for your guests following the basic guidelines
  • if you will be gone for several days, please let us know so we don’t worry

Related: Make sure you’re getting your Vitamin T right now!

 

 

 

Friends Nextdoor

How to land in a new place and create community
Stars

Ever since I learned about Nextdoor.com I have seen its potential to help people land in a new place more quickly and build a community around themselves. Most of the time, when we move,e it takes a while to acclimate and find a new group of friends. I would guess the time it takes most people to arrive in a new town to be 2-3 years. What would our lives be like if that time were shortened to months or weeks, instead? I think they’d be richer, and I explain below how this can be done by anyone, anywhere.  

Using Nextdoor.com and other online tools such as Constant Contact* (email service provider + survey capability) and Facebook (for group functions), it’s possible to quickly build a list of people who live close by who share your interests. When one relocates, these tools can be used to create a new group of friends quickly.

I’ve been doing this in my local neighborhood here in Portland, and it’s led to amazing connections.

Here are the steps I have taken to try this out:

  1. Sign up for Nextdoor.com.
  2. Created an email list for potential new friends using an email service provider, and set up a sign-up form that people can use to subscribe (or just create a simple group in your email client like Outlook or Gmail). You can make more than one list for different interests, e.g., people who like to play chess, play music, or like to effect change to make the neighborhood more livable. A person can be added to more than one list.
  3. I started conversations on Nextdoor around various list topics.*
  4. Via private messaging, I asked people who seem interesting to you to join my lists (provide the sign-up link) and I explained what I am up to and asked for their email address.
  5. Once I formed a group, I invited group members to events. In my case, I’ve hosted house concerts, which is a favorite way I like to gather with people. I have also started a Facebook group so that the members of the group can speak to one another and possibly instigate activities themselves. The cool thing here is that you’re acting as a matchmaker, and all of the connections are local!
  6. Repeat the above until your social life is full of interesting people who live close by and may enrich your life.
  7. Show others what you’ve done (we learn by teaching).

I’m always open to feedback. Have you tried something like this? What has worked for you? Please feel free to help me improve this concept in the comments section below or write me @ albert@albertideation.com.

As of 9.26.19 I have been doing this for about 11 months, and I’m learning as I go. I have a list of 75 people in my Portland, Oregon, USA neighborhood who have been invited to various events at my house (mostly house concerts and an orphans’ Thanksgiving), and the experiment continues. I also just learned about fellow traveler Rachael Lynn’s new book At Home Anywhere, which looks promising! 

* Another way to find people who share interests is by creating a survey (I use the tool in Constant Contact). That way, you can find people who share your interests and ask for their contact information all in one effort. The link to Constant Contact above is an affiliate link. 

Here’s some of my past writing about Nextdoor.com

Yes, Yes Marsha, also has some good thinking about the challenges of moving. to a new city and making new friends

12.20.21 – article on the difficulty of making friends as adults.

7.18.25 – Found this gem on building your village locally today (thanks, Brother Dan)

They Say it’s Your Birthday

They say it’s your Birthday!

Everyone loves to celebrate their birthday. You can bring a smile to the face of your friends, family, clients, and customers by sending them an email on their birthday. In this 13-minute tutorial, I describe how this process works. Let me know if you have any questions – Albert Kaufman – albert@albertideation.com

You can also join my birthday list, here. Don’t forget to fill out the birth date field! 

Happy Birthday,

Albert

 

3.22.21 – Here’s A fun Birthday Reminder Tool 

Also, Jackie Lawson’s cards are worth the annual fee which is very low.

Or, support the World Wildlife Fund via their fun, free service.

birthday cake

 

3 Great Reasons to have a Personal Newsletter for Friends and Family

Starting a Friends and Family Newsletter

friendsandfamilyI’ve been using email to send out a newsletter to my friends and family for the past 16 years. The response has been fantastic and it’s made me a believer in taking the time to send word to your personal network on a regular basis. Here are my three top reasons why I think this makes sense.

1. You have a personal life and telling people that care about you what is going on for you leads to their having a greater understanding of your life, hopes, and dreams.  Once friends and family know more about what you’re up to – they can get behind any effort you’re making.  For instance, I had an idea a couple of years ago called Farm My Yard. It’s an effort to match up homeowners and urban farmers who live nearby. I’ve been mentioning this idea and dreaming it into existence for the past couple of years, and now that it’s starting to take off the people I’ve told are some of the effort’s greatest boosters.  And, of course, Farm My Yard has a newsletter sign-up form on the website 🙂

2. The feedback. We all want to know how we’re doing. When I send my newsletter out, I always ask for feedback. Over the years it feels like people take turns writing back with their thoughts, suggestions, and mentions of how they might be facing the same challenges and their solutions for making their way through.  Sometimes it’s just an “atta boy”, but some friends have deepened our relationship by sharing their thinking and real offers of help.

3. Referrals.  By telling my friends and family what I’m up to in my business life, they then know something about how I make a living – teaching email marketing, and social media, and helping small businesses boost their marketing efforts. I have become known in my personal world as THE guy who does that. This has led to friends referring their friends who need business support. I generally don’t ask my friends and family directly for support, but their knowledge of my business helps me in various ways. For instance, when we come together for various gatherings, the conversations often start at a greater depth because they’ve been following my life and are somewhat caught up with my progress. Instead of “what’s new“, the conversations more often start with “Hey, I remember you mentioning that you lead street tree planting efforts” – any idea of how we can get that going in my neck of the woods?”

As with any email newsletter, you want to follow the basic rules of thumb – keeping the newsletter brief; having a great subject line; putting the call to action towards the top, and using graphics and links sparingly.  If you invite your friends and family to write back about what has moved them about what you’ve written, they often will – and, I promise, this feedback will be interesting and possibly useful.

If you ever need encouragement on trying this out, feel free to get in touch. If you’d like to receive my friends & family monthly email (The Eleven), you can sign up for it here.

You can do this, and I truly believe it will lead to great things!

The Eleven Archives

Thanks to Yehudah for this article from May 2024 on Kinkeeping!

And a cool TikTok on the subject.

Burning Man 2014

Burning Man 2014

 Burning Man Black Rock Desert
Hi there, It’s probably best to convey my 14th Burning Man to you now while it’s fresh rather than wait till the 11th, so, here goes.

After a Spring and Summer where I wasn’t doubting for a second that I’d be attending this year’s Burning Man, I suddenly got a very strong NO from the universe with about a week to go before the event. I earnestly talked to friends about the 500 reasons I didn’t want to attend, and it literally felt like there were that many reasons and more not to go. I may compile those reasons at some point, but to continue the story, I had a visit from Mr. Yes and that turned me around on the Thursday before the weekend we were to leave for the playa.

Mr. Yes? Why, yes!  One night, I turned off my phone, put it down, hopped on my bike, and started riding southeast from my house. During that ride, I had the idea that I could adjust my course and visit a massage place that I’d heard about on 82nd and Division – a walk-in place. Well, that course adjustment and my subsequent excellent full-body massage for $20 reminded me of some of what I love about Burning Man – the opportunity to change course at will for something that caught my fancy. Sonad (“Spinning on a Dime“) as my friend, Abigail, pointed out! So, after my Mr. Yes visit, I decided that building my business could wait; that Eecole had arranged the most amazing transport/living situation I’d ever experienced at Burning Man; and that I could travel to Burning Man with my favorite person in the world, Eecole. Best friend, partner of almost 9 years – why would I not want to do this?

So, away we went!  Trailer (we called it the egg) lent to us by our friends, Dwight and Nicole; massage table; tons of food; clothes; bikes – we got going on Saturday. First up was an overnight at Summer Lake Hot Springs (one of my favorite places on the planet) where we pulled in by the lake/pond and had our first night of sleep in the Egg. Delightful. Quiet. The next day we cruised to Burning Man, spent 3 hours in line and another hour trying to figure out where to park ourselves. Then, we hopped on our bikes and cruised the playa for a couple of hours, and arrived. That night we also stopped by to visit our Portland friends Bob, Sam, and Ted who brought their amazing art car – Pipes of Passion (video) (NSFW), to the playa.

pipes of passion burning man

We had thought about camping with them, but their neighborhood was full of art cars/noise – so, instead, we plopped ourselves down in the quiet burbs of K & 7:50.  This is also one of my favorite areas to camp over the years as it’s a great place to watch the sunset – as it’s almost all the way out on the Western edge of things – facing some dear mountains.

Early Monday morning we heard the crashing sounds of thunder and lightning! 3-4 times – and then, Rain!!!! If you know anything about the Black Rock Desert, you know that rain can make the surface very clompy – and make it impossible to move about – especially with vehicles. We rushed outside, and brought in some of the things that could get damaged, and then went back to sleep. When we woke again and looked outside it was cool, and damp. We couldn’t easily leave, so just slept some more 🙂  But for thousands of Burners, this was a very hard time – many theme camps couldn’t keep building their infrastructure – art projects were stalled, and thousands of people were halted at the entryway to the playa – where a small lake had formed. Many had to wait in their vehicles for 24 hours until they were given permission to come in! Those who were along the road coming in were advised to travel back to Reno and try again the next day!

Burning Man Is Closed 2014 Part 1
Burning Man Is Closed 2014 Part 1

One result of the rain and the fact that Monday arrival didn’t happen was that the playa was quieter than I’ve experienced it since my first year in 2000 (after the rain that year :)(see above video). It also meant that the streets were not filled with cars trying to park; porta-potties were easily accessible and clean from the day before. It was really noticeable difference. We spent the morning setting up camp and then the rest of the day tooling about the open playa and enjoying the art and car-empty streets. This led me to think that it might be a good idea for Burning Man to try staggering the entrance, on purpose.  2 days on, 1 day off, would really make a big difference.

Burning Man this year was different from other years in many ways. For the past couple of years, there has been a huge influx of 1st-timers (virgins). Just like any activity, it’s useful to know the “rules” and Burning Man sends all ticket-holders a beautifully-written Survival Guide (after all you’re entering some very harsh conditions – hot during the day, cold at night – possible storms…) that really should be required reading by all. By now, I could probably write the guide in my sleep; but for those who have never read it and show up at Burning Man, it’s very easy to hurt yourself, hurt others or make big mistakes. Note: leave your car keys, passports, valuables at your camp – don’t take your phone to a rave 🙂

Playastan Crossroads - Burning Man
Playastan Crossroads!

On the plus side, the event has continued to attract beautiful, interesting, gigantic pieces of art (and incredible thinkers, dreamers, revolutionaries, and the curious). And there’s nothing like plying the playa by bike and seeing specs in the distance suddenly turn into art before your eyes. And the backdrop of the Black Rock Desert is the greatest gallery that could be imagined – dusty or not. This year was not a huge dust year. It was a big heat year, though. Traveling around during the day I felt my back getting fried at times. Luckily, there are great camps like Northwest Mist, which provide a respite from the heat and light.

brcpo burning man 2014
This year’s PO9

One of the things that guided me this year was my understanding of how to use mail at Burning Man as a guide. I’m overdue to write up the history of the Postal System at Burning Man. If you’ve been reading my thoughts over the years, you know I’ve been involved in this “theme camp” since 2002. This year I decided to retire and instead used the Burner Map app to locate my friends and create cards to lead me to them. Each day I’d pull out some cards and travel to the camps listed – sending myself as post, in a way. I visited people I am friends with on FB, only, and people I work with. I got to visit Carrie Katz, who I lived with on Kibbutz Urim in 1979 and hadn’t seen since! That was certainly a highlight. She’s become a professional songwriter and is also out there changing the world like me!

I had a hard year. I often say “this is my last year” or “I’m not going“, but this time, I really think I’m done. Though Burning Man is an incredible experience, I may have gotten what I need from the event after 14 years of going and it’s probably time for me to move on. It also can just be incredibly challenging to go, set up one’s camp, participate intensely and endure the conditions. This year felt harder on my body than the year’s past. Maybe I’m just getting older 🙂

That said, wow – the lessons one can learn from going are quite incredible. I often say to people it’s like getting a graduate education in a week. Part of my excitement about the number of virgins going is that I hope they will learn some of what is offered and not just waste their time there. You can often learn lessons so quickly at Burning Man. Also, with a collection of so many smart people; artists; musicians; makers; you learn so many interesting references that it can take you a year just to follow up on all of the great ones. And, it can be super fun. And funny.  And sexy. And smart. And uplifting.

Being a part of a gifting economy for a week – I don’t know anywhere else on the planet where one can experience that.  Do you?

We left before the Burning of the Man. It’s something I’ve been doing for the last 3 visits to the playa. It leads to not having any lines on the way out and for some beautiful sunsets on the way North. This year we stopped overnight in the Modoc National Forest which I’d been wanting to do for years. Though we were a bit fried, we did not swerve for bunnies (which is one way people die leaving the event each year) – sorry, Mr. Bunny. We also did not swerve for a skunk. Sorry, Mr. Skunk.

On the second day heading back to Portland, we overnighted outside of Sisters, Oregon, and woke up to see the sunrise at the 3 Sisters Wilderness area – see these pictures – it was one of the most beautiful mornings and this lava bed area is worth a visit.

Today we finally finished cleaning the Egg and returned it.

I’m so appreciative of the opportunity to make this pilgrimage each year. It’s such a luxury. If you have never been, you might want to try it, sometime 🙂  Tickets go on sale in the Spring. Also, there are a lot of ways to travel to Burning Man as a volunteer.

I’ll probably be writing a lot more about Burning Man 2014 because I think the event is at a crossroads. I’d love to see it continue to retain some of its greatness, but I think it can only do that if the people who come get a little more educated about what it is before arriving.  And, the numbers of people are also causing some challenges – this year there were about 70K people which stresses various systems. When I first went in 2000, we were 20K!

If you went to Burning Man this year, I’d be curious to hear your thoughts, and if you have any feedback about my reflections, please write back! Happy decompressing!

OK, enough about Burning Man! I’m home, back in Portland!  I’ll be speaking this coming Wednesday, September 10th, at the Alberta Rose Theatre as part of a marketing mega-event from 9-12 – come on out or tell your friends who are small business people to come! I also have a free class I’m doing with Heather Fulton, on September 24th about the use of Social Media – details below.

Also, a while back I learned about the Garcia Birthday Band (GBB) and thought they’d be fun to dance to in a ballroom.  Join me this coming Friday for the first (and I hope first of many!) time the GBB will be playing at the Village Ballroom!

I hope all is going well in your world and that you’re enjoying yourself and nurturing yourself.

Sincerely,

 

Albert Kaufman

“Nutmeg Alfredo” (my playa name)

 

Gray
Albert Kaufman

Upcoming Events

Social Media Marketing for Small Business Success

Wednesday, September 24, 2014, from 10:00 AM to 12:00 PM PDT

Come learn about social media from a local expert, Albert Kaufman. This presentation is a guide for small businesses or nonprofits who have been using social media marketing but need some tips to take them to an intermediate level and/or add new channels to their marketing efforts. Heather Fulton, Social Media Worldwide, will also be speaking – see link above for more information about Heather! 

Uptown Billiards – Coffee and drink service available. Also, so many people responded positively to the idea of having lunch together after class – that we’re definitely on!  

Heather Fulton

Facebook as Diary – What will your Legacy Be?

diary

Your Legacy

Once upon a time, people wrote in diaries. If you wanted to learn what your grandmother was thinking, you could read her diary and learn how she met your grandfather. If the diary was kept, if it was legible, if it made it from point A into your hands!  Now, fast forward to today – a time when many of us are keeping our “diaries” up to date on a daily (if not hourly) basis on Facebook and other internet sites.  If we want to, the keys to our accounts could be passed along to our offspring or friends, and our online identities (diaries) could be kept up for a long time, possibly forever!  Anyone who wants to can pretty easily turn their online musings into a website that should last a long, long time.

I was pondering this concept on a trip to the Oregon coast this past weekend. What might it be like for future generations to be able to go back in time and review what their parents and grandparents were doing – that intimate look could be so useful to a biographer, sibling, or anyone, really.

That led me to rethink a little what we post online. I keep finding value in sharing what I’m doing on Facebook and beyond.  I think I’m now conceiving it as a way to inform people of my various projects – to get assistance, but also for a reason I had never thought of before.  Have you ever been somewhere and someone approached you – a Facebook-only friend? And, it turns out that they know something about you, though you might not know much about them.  Or, vice versa.  I have this experience frequently. This weekend at the beach, I stumbled on a group of women who were sitting around a lovely campfire on the beach. It turned out that I knew 3 of the women, and was FB friends with a few more. That instant recognition and also their general knowledge of what I’m up to in the world led to a level of welcome and appreciation that = reputation. My reputation at that moment was not “stranger”, it was – “someone we know who does good things in the world”. That, in turn, led to a level of welcome/hospitality that was very helpful at that moment and pleasant.

So, the reasons to share with the world what you’re thinking seem to continue to grow. People often ask me what/why to post on social networks – here are a couple of answers to that question. Somewhat we’re all flying on blind faith that this is useful, and if I come up with more reasons why this is good practice (besides some other obvious ones – connecting you with people you want to know – finding resources that you seek – finding help with projects, etc) I will share them here.  Can you think of any reasons that are interesting reasons why a person might want to post on social networks?